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I am guinea; hear me squeak.
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Apr. 14th, 2008 @ 09:57 pm Life as Max?
Current Mood: sad but happy too
It has been almost 2 years since I last updated. But I have a really good reason. His name is Samson III, and he is a stinky little brother. Mommy Allison told me all little brothers stink a little. Life has been more interesting with him around but it keeps me away from the internets because I have to be on alert all the time in case yummy foodstuffs are put in the cage. I will bite some face for treat food.

Even more stuff has happened in the last week. I noticed mommy Allison started crying more, and Samson just said it was her being a little crazy, but I new it was different (see how stupid little brothers can be). Then one day mommy Allison and mommy Maureen took me over to some lady’s house, and mommy Allison was crying real bad, and I was all sorts of car sick. Then mommy Allison cried some more, and then she left. I was scared and hid out in the pigloo for a few days, but then this lady keeps telling me she’s my new mom, and at first I’m all scared, but then it turns out she’s really nice. Now I get held every day again. Mommy Allison couldn’t hold me very much anymore because she kept getting red bumps on her arms and her eyes swelled up like grapefruits (I still haven’t had grapefruit in a long time, and that’s too bad) and that’s why she had me and my brother adopted.

Mommy Allison came to visit me today and it was so exciting and I squeaked the entire time so she new how happy I was. My new mommy accidentally called me “Max” in front of mommy Allison, and then pretended she didn’t really call me Max, but mommy Allison said it was okay. That made me glad because I felt a little sad answering to Max, but not too sad to pass up baby carrots. Now I know mommy Allison understands and even though my real name is still Gus, Max is a cool nickname and I feel just fine with being called it. I think it makes me sound a little more fierce. Plus my new mom is so nice I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings by correcting her all the time, especially since she doesn’t realize how bad Samson stinks so I have to show her I’m the best and being real showy about a name isn’t a good way to make a nice impression.

But another sad thing is my new mommy doesn’t have internets (I had to sneak into the neighbor’s house tonight after my new mommy fell asleep, which is really super-naughty) so I probably won’t be able to update my journal anymore. Which I guess really isn’t too bad since I didn’t update for so long anyway. I am a little sad I will not know if a lucky sow comes across my myspace page, but maybe I can sneak out every now and then to check. I am also real sad I don’t get to see my mommies anymore, but mommy Allison told me it would be too sad to see each other and then say goodbye over and over again. Plus now mommy Allison nos I have a good life.

I will miss you all.

Love,
Gussy pig
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Apr. 14th, 2008 @ 09:55 pm ???old entry???
This was a real old entry I guess from many years ago it saved as draft form, so now the pictures are gone, but it looks like I was talking about food which makes sense because I love food.  So I posted it even tho it doesn't make much sense with no pictures, but maybe i will be able to make it picutres again some time. EDIT: I MADE THE PICTURES COME BACK CAUSE I'M AWESOME! Except the peaches,m which are still gone, and they are my favorite.

Unacceptable foodstuffs for me:

tomatoes

onions

mushrooms

Acceptable foodstuffs for me:

carrots

peaches

molding

hay

dandelions

cilantro

homework assignments

the mail 
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
May. 2nd, 2006 @ 10:38 pm Jayhawk-0, Gus-1
Current Mood: predatory

Gus eating an origami Jayhawk.
Originally uploaded by Allison H.
Hawkigami is tastey!
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Apr. 25th, 2006 @ 11:02 pm I am very large
Current Mood: content
I'm shedding a lot these days. The spring season does that to a guinea.

I have a myspace profile now, which is a pretty neat.

Mommy maureen posted a photo of me enjoying my new cage on cavy cages dot com. Someone posted that they "saw two piggies" in the photo. It was just me. I am so large that people assume that I am two guinea pigs. Maybe I could get in the ginnis book of world records. I wish I could make babies to carry on my superior genetics. I learned the phrase superior genetics from mommy allison because she always tells me that I have them. Not jeans though because I don't wear pants.

Speaking of large things there was ice hunks falling from the sky that were bigger than golf balls. They dented mommy allison's car a lot. At least they were not as big as grapefruits.

I have not had any grapefruit in a long time. That is too bad.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Mar. 10th, 2006 @ 12:05 am My first grapefruit encounter
Current Mood: full
Tonight my mommy allison gave me "grapefruit." When she first talked about it, I thought she meant the fruit that is grapes and I got really excited. I love grapes. But then when she handed it to me I thought maybe it was an orange and she just got confused because she hasn't gotten enough sleep lately.

It was DEFINITELY not an orange.

It creeped me out at first because it tasted so weird. Now I like taking little nibbles at it but not too much at one time.

In summary, grapefruit is not grapes so don't get confused and even though it is similar to an orange it does not taste like one. I think it is something I will like eating every now and then but not very often compared to grapes or oranges.

EDIT: Ok, so I just did some more research on grapefruit and you can read a lot about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grapefruit
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Feb. 22nd, 2006 @ 01:54 pm Personality test
Current Mood: okay

My Personal Dna Report - I am a Respectful Analyst
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being held, on breasts
Feb. 3rd, 2006 @ 11:36 pm Sign the petition to make Guinea Pig Day a national holiday
Current Mood: contemplative
I just found out that yesterday was called groundhog day. Groundhogs are ok, but everyone knows guinea pigs look much nicer. It is just silly to have a holiday about groundhogs when you could make it about guinea pigs instead. Maybe we could just add a guinea pig day so the groundhogs don't get mad. Just as long as the squirrels don't expect a special day too. We've got to draw the line somewhere.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Jan. 18th, 2006 @ 04:27 pm painful paw
Current Mood: sad
My foot is hurt real bad. It bled all over mommy allison the other day. She put some goo on it and it feels better now.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Dec. 30th, 2005 @ 04:58 am Christmas at grandparents' house
Current Mood: rushed
I am staying with grandma linda and grandpa don again, but it is better this time because I can see what's happening because my cage is lower and I like it. Lucy and boo come in and look at me some times and it is ok. I like it when grandma linda feeds me lettus.

My mommies are getting married really soon. They went to stores and picked out things they want people to buy for them and they picked out some treats for me that sound very yummy. I am most excited about getting new treats.

I need to go now because I am up past my bedtime and don't want to get caught using the internet.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Oct. 10th, 2005 @ 01:16 am I put 16 instead of 15 because I'm that extra-good.
Current Mood: chipper
Instructions:

To Create a Google "Needs" Meme:
1) Enter "[your name] needs" in a Google search.
2) Read through the link descriptions, looking for those that actually form a sentence.
3) Post the first 15.
4) Enjoy!

  1. 13 month old "Gus" needs good home (Read 717 times).

  2. Gus needs a family with patience, who can show him how to express himself in appropriate ways.

  3. Gus needs to bribe the police.

  4. Gus Needs A Skin Graft!

  5. Gus needs to paint his house, which has a surface area of x square feet.

  6. Gus needs your help!

  7. All Gus needs is a barn and a farmhand or two standing by. . .because he predicts the weather by looking at a pig spleen.

  8. Gus needs fire up his bum.

  9. I think Grumpy Little Gus needs his nappy time.

  10. Gus needs new tires.

  11. If it is determined that Gus needs a specialist's care, this too will be provided.

  12. Gus needs a loving family to call his own!

  13. But Sir Gus needs to show greater concern with the values and ethics agenda.

  14. However, plant GUS needs pH 5 - 6, so if you do the assay at pH 7 - 8 only the bacterial GUS will be detected.

  15. Gus needs some training and lots of love and exercise.

  16. Now all the sheep are sold and Gus needs to find his destiny.
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being held, on breasts
Sep. 27th, 2005 @ 02:55 am Somebody feed me an apple and bust me out of this stinky joint!
Current Mood: discontent
I know people think I live such a charmed life, but sometimes being a guinea pig is damn hard. Like right now, for example. My cage is very stinky and there is NOTHING I can do about it. And yesterday, I got an entier apple from mommy maureen but then mommy allison yelled at her that I would eat too much and get sick so mommy maureen took it out of my cage even though I wanted to keep it around so I could get up and snack on it throughout the night.

Mommy allison is a real jerk sometimes.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Sep. 21st, 2005 @ 05:27 pm FIRE IN THE PIGLOO!
Current Mood: better now
Mommy allison burnt something on the stove, and my cage was filled with stinky smoke! It was so disgusting, even my pigloo could not protect me from the smoke. So mommy allison took me outside and it was nice and I got to eat lots of grass. Grass is one of the best things in the world as long as it doesn't have dog pee on it!

Wendy Wallace is going to be here soon. I'm excited!
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Sep. 1st, 2005 @ 01:28 am Mommy Allison's nails
Current Mood: disgusted
Mommy Allison got her nails done for a wedding several weeks ago. Now her nails are extra disgusting because she hasn’t made an appointment to get them filled. Sometimes I look at her hands and want to barf.

My cage got cleaned today. It is most pleasant.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Aug. 26th, 2005 @ 03:43 pm FEAR ME, FOR I AM G.U.S.!
Current Mood: predatory

Guardian Used for Sabotage
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being held, on breasts
Aug. 24th, 2005 @ 10:59 pm the air is nice and fresh in here
Today my cage was finally cleaned which is so nice because it stunk pretty bad and grandma was coming over and I didn't want her to think I stink. I hadn't seen her since I stayed with her and grandpa a few months ago. She fed me some treats. It was nice.

My mommy allison is 24 today.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Jun. 17th, 2005 @ 02:40 am Staying with the grandparents
Current Mood: happy
My mommies are going out of town so I'm staying with Mommy Allison's parents. I've been here since Monday. I was scared at first but I feel better now. They are really nice to me. Grandma Linda takes me out and Grandpa Don pets me on the nose. They even let me use the internet. I think they're the best.

The car ride here sucked really bad. Mommy Maureen got mad at me just because I wanted her to comfort me because I was scared. She wouldn't hold me any more. Mommy Allison pulled over and made me feel a little better but I still felt like poo because it was so sunny and I felt a little sick from all the moving. Glad that's over!
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Jun. 12th, 2005 @ 05:57 am The terrible woman
Current Mood: annoyed
A terrible woman came to our apartment the other day. She stunk like smoke just like Amber used to. She kept calling me a hamster. She also called me "it" instead of "he" like I'm an object and not the glorious creature that I am. It really pissed me off. Everyone knows hamsters suck. This is how it went down...

Terrible Woman: Wow! That hamster is huge!
Mommy Allison: He's a guinea pig.
TW: Does it bite? Hamsters bite, right? (she stuck her smelly finger in my cage)
MA: No, he does not bite. He's a guinea pig. Hamster's bite, but he doesn't bite because he's a guinea pig.
TW: (still trying to touch me) I've never seen a hamster close up before!
MA: You still haven't. He's a guinea pig.
TW: I just didn't realize hamsters got so big!
MA: They don't. He's a large guinea pig.

The bitch never did get it right. She kept waving her stinky finger around at me saying, "Hello little hamster!"

Mommy Maureen promised to verbally assault the terrible woman if she ever comes back. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it sounds good to me! That woman sucks!
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 09:51 pm Cause I got tagged...
Current Mood: chipper
List 6 six of your current favorite songs (no order), and then tag 6 of your LiveJournal friends to do the same.

1. Fish Heads by They Might be Giants
2. The song mommy wrote about me that goes to the M&M commercial music
3. Anything by Vibralux
4. San Francisco by Judy Garland
5. It's Raining Men by The Weather Girls
6. I'm Beautiful by Better Midler

TAG!
[info]and_then_i_nod
[info]vorpal
[info]eloquentscream
[info]slanty_penguin
[info]chem_monkey
[info]shannonklit
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being held, on breasts
Mar. 8th, 2005 @ 11:32 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: craving a treat biscut
Isn't my igloo cool?


I'm getting too small for it, though. My mommies never expected me to grow so large. They call me a "large guinea pig." That means I can have five treat biscuts a day. Mommy allison thinks that's an excessive number, though. She yelled at mommy maureen even though she read the package to her: "A large guinea pig can have up to five treats a day."

I hate mommy allison sometimes.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts
Mar. 1st, 2005 @ 07:20 pm :(
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: silence. sad, sad silence
I am very lonely. Last weekend I got to play so much. Wendy Wallace even pet me some. Now I am all alone.
...oink oink...
being held, on breasts